OH MY GOD!

Has it really been 2 months since I updated? WOW! Sorry guys!! Not much has changed though... We did get a new car - a 1999 Chrysler Concorde. It's NICE! And there's some family stuff... I'm copying the letter I wrote for friends into here... at least you'll have the entire gyst of it. I have a family thing tomorrow, so if I'm not depressed after it, I'll update on Sunday to let you know how it went.

Here's my holiday letter.

December 2005

Hey there 

I’m writing this letter out and sending it to a few people, just to get you updated, and so I only have to do it once. *grin* But please bear with me…

The only thing that’s changed so far is family stuff. But I’ll get to that soon enough. Work is going well. I’m still working for Fidelity Investments. They’re giving me a lot more responsibility at work, and I’m doing more things, which I like. Hopefully, if I keep my socks pulled up, I should get a promotion of some sort in the next couple of months. I’ve been here over a year – it just took me a bit to get my ass in gear hehe

Home is going well. Rick’s work is still going good too. Our aminals (spelled wrong on purpose) are thriving…. We still have the two cats (Baxter and Neelix) and Perrin, the dog. We have the opportunity to get another animal to add to our zoo as well… we’re thinking about it, but not saying much until it actually happens. Lotsa stuff to think about ;)

Ok, family stuff… I don’t know how much I’ve told anyone, so I’ll start at the beginning. If you’ve heard it, skip it LOL … as you all know, Mary lived with us for 4 years. Then in April 2004, she moved out. She moved out because I cashed a cheque on her and it bounced on her account. I will admit that I shouldn’t have done it, but I did it. I have apologized, and now here it is, 2 years later. When this happened, Mary talked to Lee-Ann. Lee-Ann then proceeded never to talk to me again since. I thought it was because of the cheque thing and she was being over-protective of Mary. Boy was I wrong.

This past Thanksgiving was Rick’s family’s turn for Thanksgiving. As is tradition, our family usually goes to my Uncle Brian and Aunt Sandra’s house with Mom’s side of the family. We do this most of the time for Christmas too. Uncle Brian is Mom’s brother. Rick and I were planning to go up to his parents, but our car got pulled off the road (longer story) the week before. I called up Aunt Sandra and asked if I could come for Thanksgiving dinner, but Rick would not. Rick isn’t comfortable there, and asked to be left out. Unbeknownst to me, Mary also called earlier that week, and my Mom called just after me, asking Sandra for the same thing. When she called me back, after a long discussion, she told me that she only wanted to spend a nice quiet afternoon with her family, and didn’t want people glaring daggers at each other from across the room. So I asked her point blank “Basically then, I’m not welcome”. And she said she wouldn’t be comfortable with me there. She also proceeded to tell me that she felt I was manipulating Mary and my mother, and I wasn’t the person I used to be; she didn’t know who I was anymore. I was so upset… I cried and called Mom and bawled on the phone with her. She was upset as well, and between her and dad decided to boycott Thanksgiving. Between her and Dad, Rick and I and Mary, we had Thanksgiving dinner the five of us at Mary’s house. Mom also had called Nana saying that if Aunt Sandra doesn’t pull up her socks, then she’ll boycott Christmas too.

Now Christmas comes around. Aunt Sandra calls Mom to make plans. She calls Mary to make plans. Waits forever and calls me. It is my year for Christmas. She proceeds to tell me that she has spoken with Lee-Ann and Lee-Ann has told her exactly WHY she’s not speaking with me. Apparently, the cheque thing (as we call it) is in the past. Mary and I have made up and Mary actually works at Fidelity with me. Now this entire thing is based on a conversation that Mary and I and Rick had a few years ago. Ok… WARNING – if anyone is squeamish, skip a few lines….. most people that are having sex these days are aware that some mens’ biggest fantasies are to have a threesome with two sisters. Rick brought it up. Mary and I shot it down. I’m sorry, I may like to experiment in some cases, but I’m not into messing around with my sister. That’s just gross. Mary and I were uncomfortable with the subject and we didn’t discuss it anymore.

So…. In this conversation that Mary had with Lee-Ann two years ago just after the cheque thing, Mary spills the beans. We had already agreed, in the FOUR years we had been living together that everything that happens in the house stays in the house. She broke the code. I don’t know how much Lee-Ann knows right now, probably more than I want her to. But Lee-Ann now thinks that I’m immoral, and does not want her children exposed to me. Now, I have NEVER done anything like that with Mary, and never WANTED to. Aunt Sandra is saying that I shouldn’t even bring UP the subject. And you know what? FUCK HER! It’s a sexual world, topics come up. She says that I have to be not very happy or sexual fulfilled in order to bring up the topic. Is she a prude or what? I can’t believe they would even think that I would do that. So I got off the phone with Aunt Sandra, and called Mary. Mary had never said anything like that to me. I know how she wasn’t very comfortable about some of the things that I have done, but they didn’t affect her, and they were and are a part of my private life. So I asked Mary point blank if she’s said anything to Lee-Ann that she hasn’t owned up to or that I should know. It came out that she “may have said something” but she doesn’t remember the entire conversation. I then called Mom. And I told her exactly what Aunt Sandra said. I added on to the end the truth – even through I grew up in a Christian household, I don’t go to church regularly anymore. But that doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten what I’ve been taught, or that I’ve thrown my morals out the window. And why am I so different from the Vicky that Aunt Sandra knew? Hello!! I’m 30 years old! I’ve grown up, changed with the world, not kept my ass in a barn for most of my life. Open your eyes woman! AND on top of everything else… for whatever reason, and for NO reason, both Sandra and Lee-Ann do not like Rick. They have no reason behind it. So for Christmas I am welcome, but Rick, is not.

Ok, now, all of you are married, or at least close enough to it (Maureen!! Hehe) If your husbands weren’t welcome at your family’s house, would you go without him? Me neither. So I talked to Mom, and decided that I will not go. Mom caught some flack (I told her she would) for bugging out at Thanksgiving, so I told her to go on Christmas. Rick and I and Mary are going up to Mom & Dad’s the 23rd, after work, and staying Christmas Eve day and Christmas morning. Then, Mom & Dad & Mary will head to Brian & Sandra’s, and Rick and I are going up to HIS parents. I had Rick ask Carolynne (his mom) if I could stay. They know the entire story (but for the Threesome thing – just that it’s based on a 3 yr old conversation, much like the info I gave Nana) and she is not happy about it. But they care enough about me to make room. So they’ve invited us to their Christmas dinner, which’ll either be at the cottage (their house) or at Angela’s (his sister). The Graesser (Rick’s last name in case anyone forgot) Christmas this year is supposed to be on New Year’s, so his other sister, Tammy, and her family will come up that weekend for the whole shin-dig. I have that next week off, too… so I’ve cleared it with Carolynne, that I’m going to stay up there that week with the dog; Rick will go back down to the city for the 28th, 29th & 30th, and come up that night (he has to work) for New Years weekend. As I told Dad, I’d rather spend my holidays with family that wants me there then be lonely during the day in the city. Mom and Dad understand. I’m trying not to resent Mom for going back on her word… she did say that if Sandra didn’t smarten up she’s boycotting Christmas… and Sandra didn’t… and Mom isn’t… but I do understand – it’s Mom’s family regardless. After I made my decision (last week), I called Nana. Nana wanted the entire family together this year…. I had to tell her that it wasn’t going to happen, and why. So like Carolynne, she knows the story, just not the details of the conversation. I cried on the phone with her. Nana was upset that this has so upset me, and she doesn’t understand why… but the only light in the tunnel was that Nana said that she wouldn’t say anything at Christmas unless someone asks her opinion, then she’ll let them have it. I said “and your opinion is?” She replied “That they should just leave well enough alone and embrace you”.

So there’s the most of it… I’m not welcome with my husband, I’m thought to be immoral, and the children of my sister that I love so much I am not allowed to see. I’m not a very happy camper. But I’m trying to keep my chin up and be happy about what I DO have, and trying (really really REALLY) hard not to dwell on the stuff that depresses me and makes me cry all the time.

Ok… so there’s my news  Nothing earth shattering… we’re doing ok here, and weathering the snow. Looking forward to seeing you all soon… I’ll try to call in the New Year – and Nancy, sorry I haven’t called lately, as you can see stuff has been going on every time I’m up at Mom & Dad’s. But know that if you’re getting this letter, you are important in my life and I think of you often – even if I get too lazy to sit down and write it all out *smile*

Merry Christmas to you and your families,

Vicky